"It is what it is"

My Dad and my Mom at their wedding in 1980 :)

By late spring, my mom was beginning to show signs of the chemo taking a toll on her body. Though she never complained, she told her oncologist one day that she believes her body had "reached its toxic level" So at this point they made the decision to give my mom a break. She was able to participate in her works pre-school graduation and just be "normal" for a little bit. Spending time with family and friends, something she truly enjoyed.
By this time I was out of school for the summer. My mom and I spent a lot of time together. We were either shopping online, going to the garden stores, going to Marshalls (her favorite place), sneaking to DQ and not telling my dad or sister, or she was planning a meal for me to cook for dinner haha. Things seemed pretty normal at this point.
On June 21, 2012 she got another CAT scan just to see how the tumor was doing. On June 22nd my mom, dad, and I drove to CT for Diana's wedding (my sisters friend). Jenna (my older sister) was Diana's bridesmaid so she was already there.
On June 23, 2012 my mom attended Diana's wedding. ANOTHER GOAL ACCOMPLISHED! Diana looked beautiful and we were all so happy to see her and her husband happy together. At the reception Diana had a photo booth, I begged my mom to take a picture with me. It took some time but she eventually said yes. I am so happy I begged her, they are my favorite pictures with her. They show how close our bond is. She is my rock, my best friend, the person I could be goofy with and annoy, and at the end of the day she would still love me. My mom lasted well into the night, but decided that she was getting tired and should go back to the hotel. I was so proud of her, she once again showed her cancer, who was boss. She was NOT going to let this cancer run her life.

My Mom and I at Diana and Nick's Wedding

On June 25, 2012 my dad and my mom went in to Dana Farber to get the results from her CAT scan. Once again, NO CHANGE! Her oncologist even said that there was some slight shrinkage in her tumor! They decided they would do 4 more rounds of heavy duty chemo. My mom was okay with this plan as long as the 4 rounds (every other week) would not interfere with the Bridal shower we planned for Amanda on August 18, 2012. Luckily the Bridal shower fell on her off week so she was thrilled. Once again, my mom proved just how strong she was. She was determined to fight back and continue fighting this terrible disease for as long as she could. Regardless of what was going on inside her body, she never EVER let it show on the outside. When she came home, she was ready to start finalizing everything for Amanda's Bridal Shower...something she was determined to make it to!

"if you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl,
but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward."
 Martin Luther King

Another Goal to Cross Off...

My mom congratulating Nathan at his Law School Graduation.

Throughout the entire spring of 2012 my mom went to radiation at Dana Farber in Boston 5 days a week. I would go with her on Friday's because I didn't have class. She would drive in because she didn't like how I drove. We would talk, listen to music, and honestly sometimes it almost felt like this Pancreatic Cancer monster did not exist. Of course once we got to Dana Farber reality set in. The weekend of May 18th was my brothers law school graduation. My moms oncologist knew how important it was for her to make it there. She made a deal with my mom that they would disconnect her from her chemo pump for the weekend. My mom was so happy, she was able to be free with out her chemo for the first time in 5 weeks!

The drive to NJ was as uneventful as ever. Well besides my mom yelling at my dad to "SLOW DOWN!", "You are driving like a lunatic!" haha those were always said during any road trip. Sadly my dad never learned. We arrived at Nathan (my older brother) and Amanda's (my brothers fiancee) house and settled in. 

May 19 2012, Nathan graduated law school. My mom was so proud. She looked so incredibly happy. Not only was she proud of Nathan, but she was so proud that she was able to be there to see him accomplish this milestone in his life. Once again, for how sick my mom was SHE NEVER EVER complained. She forged on through any and all pain, or discomfort she had.  Another big announcement that was revealed this weekend was that my cousin was expecting her first child! My mom was thrilled!

My mom, Nathan, and my dad

On our ride home, we talked to my mom and she said that we needed to start planning Amanda's bridal shower. She wanted to have one around us, because she could not travel to Pittsburgh. As soon as we got home the planning began. She had to finish her final few days of chemo and radiation, and then another CAT scan was ordered...For some reason, I had such a bad feeling about this one. I begged my mom to text me as soon as she talked to the oncologist. I got the text when I was at home giving my dog Sherman a bath. "Tumor looks the same", "No change". Such a relief. Once again I was able to look into the future with my mom. She was doing great she was an a-typical Pancreatic Cancer Patient, which is something nobody could complain about. She continued to work everyday, go shopping, and work in her garden. She met once again with her oncologist to work out a plan...and my mom once again looked to the future, and was determined to make it to my sisters best friends wedding, and the bridal shower we were planning for Amanda...

"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind."Darwin P. Kingsley

Never Give Up...

My Dad, Mom, brother, sister, and I back in the day. Crazy but happy :)

The pain and sorrow of December 22, 2011, slowly began to fade. As we said goodbye to 2011 one of the toughest years my family has had to endure, we welcomed 2012, which was sure to be a year of many difficulties. Something to know about my Mom...She NEVER EVER let her cancer define who she was. She continued to work, as she went through 4 more rounds of that horrible chemo, and once again showed all of her doctors and family just how strong she was. At this point I was at school right around the corner from Dana Farber and made sure to visit her on her chemo days. I sat with my mom, my dad and my aunt. We laughed and shopped online. As sad as it was to be in such a place where there were so many sick people, my mom once again found the light at the end of the tunnel. She somehow always looked so healthy throughout her whole illness. When she finished her 4 rounds of chemo, and then went in for another CAT scan. The unknown of moms illness is what got to her the most. Not knowing if her cancer had and I quote a Dr. "started to rear its' ugly head", was always a fear that was in not only her head, but my entire family. I remember nights before her CAT scans. I would stay up all night, of course fearing the most, but hoping for the best. Once again, my mom showed the doctors and Pancreatic Cancer, who was the boss! Her CAT scan came back and showed her tumor has remained the same! NO CHANGES! That is big news when it comes to Pancreatic Cancer, usually chemo does little to nothing with this disgusting disease. I remember the text my mom sent me I was in STATS class, "No change in tumor!". I was so happy. Just meant I had a little longer with my mom, my best friend, my role model. I was determined to make my time with her the best I could. Once again she worked out a new plan of attack with her oncologist, and was going to be doing radiation 5 times a week and chemo 24/7. A grueling form of attack, but something my mom said she was willing to do. Let me rephrase not willing, something she knew she HAD to do. She wanted to make it to my older brothers law school graduation. So once again my mom set mini goals and was determined to fight back.

"Whatever life gives you, even if it hurts you, just be strong and act like the way you always do because strong walls shake but never collapse."

Bad news won't keep her down...

My Mom with her new laptop! The night before her Whipple Surgery. December 21, 2011

December 22, 2011, another day embedded in my head. The night before we opened our big Christmas presents from my mom so she could see us (she would be in the hospital recovering from the Whipple). Christmas was my moms FAVORITE holiday. She not only loved decorating our entire house, but she loved the joy on each individuals face when she gave them their presents. There are so many fond memories I have of my mom decorating our big christmas tree with my dad, and putting up her christmas village and carolers. She created so many Christmas traditions in my life, that I am determined to continue.

My Mom's Caroler Display Christmas 2011

 My whole family drove my mom into Brigham and Women's hospital early December 22, 2011 to be with her before her surgery. I remember waiting in the waiting room for her to be taken to pre-opp. We all listened as all the doctors came in and told us what was going to happen during the surgery. I couldn't help it, and started to tear up. It's a scary thing, when a loved one goes in for major surgery. We were told the surgery would most likely take around 11 hours. When the doctors were ready, we had to say goodbye to my mom. We all hugged and kissed, but the thing I remember the most was the crying. Right then and there, I knew how scared my mom was. I cried as I hugged her and told her how much I loved her. She told me "If anything happens, make sure you take care of the house". I told her I'd see her in recovery. Then she was wheeled down the hallway and my family and I went to the surgery waiting room. Time passed so slowly. Before I knew it, a woman came over to us and said the surgeon will be down to talk to you if you could follow me into this room. We all looked at each other puzzled. How could this be? She has only been in the operating room for about 4 hours! What is going on? We took our seats in a small conference room and waited for my moms surgeon. He came in and looked so upset. He started explaining a bunch of different things that I cannot remember exactly, but the one thing I do remember him saying is "We couldn't get the tumor, it was too close to a main artery". Once again a feeling of pure anger and sadness swept over my body. We all cried as my Dad asked the toughest question of all, "How long do you think she has?". The doctor said every patient is different but most likely 6-12 months. 6-12 months?! This is my mom, my best friend, and I am hearing I only have 6-12 months with her?! I was crushed, but put on a fighter face for my mom, because that is what she taught me. 

When my mom woke up in recovery she looked around then up at her surgeon and my Dad and before the doctor could tell her anything she said "Sh**". Her sense of humor was evident even in the worst of times. She knew right then and there that they could not remove the tumor. From that point on though, she fought through the hardships of her aborted whipple, and was determined to get home before New Years Eve.  She wanted to rest, because she knew she was going to have to fight even harder now. Her strength once again was shining through this horrible time in her life. I would always ask her do you want to keep fighting, and her response would always be, "You gotta do what you gotta do"She made it home a few days before New Years Eve another goal to check off her list. She did it, she got home from the hospital, and began to recover. Before we knew it she was out shopping (something that she loved to do). She went back to work, and then went back to Dana Farber and mapped out a new plan with her oncologist. She was ready to fight. She was ready to find a new goal. She was not going to let Pancreatic Cancer define who she was...

“Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.” –  Vincent Van Gogh

An Inspiring Woman...

Team Chris: Pancreatic Cancer Walk 2011

So many people know someone who has/had cancer. For me this person was my Mom. A woman with so much knowledge as a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, but most of all a teacher. She created a world of good, and I want to follow in her footsteps. I am Kirsten Iacovino and in this blog I will be taking you on the journey my mom went through with her fight against Pancreatic Cancer, and how I want to bring awareness to this horrible disease. Let me begin by describing my family, and my Moms' first 5 months fighting against Pancreatic Cancer.

My Mom (Christine Materia) was a woman who touched so many lives. A loving wife, daughter, sister, aunt and friend, an amazing preschool teacher and director for 32 years, but most importantly she was a remarkable mother to my older brother,  older sister, and I. She was a teacher not only to her students but to her family and friends as well. 

July 7, 2011, the day my family started this long journey. I remember the day quite vividly. My sister, aunt, uncle, and my moms best friend waited in the hall as the doctors talked to my mom and dad. I remember the doctor leaving the room and nodding to us. I was the first one to walk into the room. My Dad, holding a tissue box as he and my Mom wiped away tears. I knew at that instant the news was not good. My Dad told us the diagnosis. "Chris (Mom) has pancreatic cancer" Those words are words, no father should ever have to say to his family. I remember being so angry, not understanding why this was happening to MY family. Crying I sat next to my mom, and she hugged me and whispered to me, "I am going to fight, because that is what I have to do". She was discharged from the hospital the next day, with a plan to begin chemo at Dana Farber in Boston. She went through 16 rounds of chemo with little to no side effects. Her oncologists could not believe how well she was handling the chemo, they had never seen a patient like her. She continued her regimen chemo every other week. When she finished her last round of chemo in early December, my mom went in for a CAT scan that would be the deciding factor on whether or not she was a candidate for the Whipple Procedure. After waiting for the results, my moms oncologist and surgeon told her that it was a go for the Whipple. She was scheduled for the Whipple on December 22, 2011...

"Really great people make you feel you, too, can become great"-Mark Twain